III.i.124

Indeed my lord, you made me believe so.

I was the more deceived.

Centrifical Glee, a.k.a. Therapy

A well timed compliment.

A very lovely gentleman, a visiting former director for The Commonweal, told me that I was very good actress and that I was captivating to watch on stage. 

Perfect strangers are being nice to me. And it feels strangely perfect.

Taking stock.

I couldn’t help but pour my  heart out whilst swinging on a swing next to a tender new friend. Especially since there was soft serve ice cream involved.

And those two cards in my mailbox…they made me tear up and my lip tremble….but for wholesome and restorative reasons.

And the sympathetic friend who is sending me empowering literature from across the country. 

And the dear friend who is helping me negotiate my non-refundable plane ticket to DC into a reinvigorating visit with with her in NY . Without a doctor’s note. 

And that hour long consoling conversation with my friend from Austin, in which she invited me back to make new and overpowering memories of that awesome city. 

And my sweet thoughtful sisters. 

One might say that my stock in friendship and kinship has been skyrocketing, as my stock in love and commitment depreciates dramatically. 

Strange market, that.

As hollow as a cello,

just as melancholically resonant. 

Bach Cello Suites, 

Mischa Maisky

input

the triumph of two days: 

an apple and an olive and four white walls.

oh, the shoulders that reach me from near and far. 

i. am. humbled by and tearfully grateful for the showing of true unconditional love.

The 24th

poetry.

please. 

please.

come

back 

to me.

i need your synonyms severely. 

poetry,

please find alliterative replacements for all the clichéd phrases that cloud my dolefully addled mind. 

what’s a good one for 

bewilderedly

broken

hear.t.e.d….                   

?

And the fire flies retreat beneath the trees

How lovely are summer thunderstorms! 

Growing up in Northern California where it doesn’t rain a drop after May day, I never realized what glorious fixtures these momentous vernal tempests are across the nation.

The sultry summer rain in New York City.

The salty tropical squalls in Texas.

The concentrated cloudbursts in Minnesota.

The the thick mineral sodden drops that multitudinously fall in each of these three regions that I have lived in since leaving doughty summers of California…..

They make a girl turn her face skyward.

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Here’s the web site — http://www.goodsearch.com.

They say old habits die hard.

Now that I’m a single body in a single bed again,

I have the damndest time falling asleep!

Looking at that phrase “falling asleep” makes me realize that It is highly improbable that sleep could ever fall upon me.

As the wee hours encroach, I recklessly relegate the notion of rest to smallest corner of my mind, and only surrender to it when I have grown entirely bored with all diversion. 

I used to think that it was living in New York that exacerbated my insomnia..all of that stimulus and energy and excitement…and maybe it was.

But now, here I am, snugly situated in rural Minnesota with nothing more than a ticking wall clock and few borrowed library books at my bedside….and I am ungratefully awake. 

One might surmise that it has nothing to do with environment and everything to do with the individual.